REVENGE – Our Take on The Show and The Emotions Behind It

For the last few months I've been seeing posters and billboards advertising the coming of a new ABC show "Revenge". The advertising for the show features the lead character Emily (played by Emily Van Camp) clothed in a dress of black thorns with the tag line "This is not a story of forgiveness," along with other one-liners such as "revenge is a dish best served cold!" and "Revenge is taking justice into your own hands." This intriguing advertising campaign definitely attempts to capitalize on the primal human passion for vengeance.

The passion for revenge can be overwhelming and is something almost everyone can relate to, even if never acted upon. Revenge, however, is paradoxical in nature simply because it is an attempt to change something that has already happened and, as such, is doomed to fail. It is a response to pain, anger and/or humiliation. Who hasn't fantasized about undoing a wrong? Getting back at the lover who cheated, the student who bullied you or the parent who made you feel unloved! Nearly everyone has been hurt at some time in their life by the words or actions of another, and this show targets that part of us!

The prime-time drama is a modern-day take on the Count of Monte Cristo, this time set in the wealthy world of the Hamptons. It centers around Emily Thorne (hence the dress of thorns--very clever!) who moves back to the Hamptons to take revenge on the people that caused the destruction of her family and the death of her father.

So how did this show perform? Ten million plus viewers for its premiere episode, winning the time slot over previous ratings champs CSI and Law and Order: SVU. What does that say about us as a culture that we are drawn to a show celebrating the very nature of revenge and foregoing forgiveness? Only that we're human and enjoy watching people act out things on television that we wouldn't do in real life.

There is a downside to getting caught up in this thirst for revenge however. If you've ever held a grudge (which most people have) you can probably identify with this. You may become consumed with anger and bitterness, which can leak over into all areas of your life, including your relationships. Your life can be so wrapped up in the past that you can't enjoy the present. I have a strong feeling that the show Revenge may end up giving us this lesson after all: that seeking or desiring revenge ultimately won’t make us happy.

So if you're watching this show and it reminds you of some things that you need to work through in your own life that are preventing you from truly being happy, I encourage you to contact one of our therapists. Letting go of grudges and bitterness involves committing to a process of change so that you no longer have to define yourself by how you've been hurt. We are here to help you with this process.

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